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Star Wars Review Thread III: The Last Jedi (SPOILERS!!!)

rkelly828

The people's choice
Legendary
I’ve never been so disappointed in my life. Heyo it’s your local Star Wars nerd reviewing yet another Star Wars movie. You guys who have been around a long time know the drill with my Star Wars reviews. Pros and Cons.

The Force Awakens Review

Rogue One Review

Pros:
- Luke is still awesome. He was by FAR the best character in this movie. Mark Hamill kills it as usual.
- The space kamikaze was fucking awesome. Despite being a character I didn’t give two shits about (still don’t even know her name), the visuals were absolutely stunning. The whole theater was dead silent when it happened. That scene was just so cool. You can’t get more bad ass than going into hyper speed and kamikazing into the first order fleet.
- No blow up the enemy base ending. Halle-fucking-lujah, this one speaks for itself.
-Rey and Kylo Ren fighting off Snoke’s bodyguards. That entire fight scene was really cool. Rey dropping the lightsaber, undercutting the Praetorian Guard, then throwing the lightsaber to Ren and putting it right through the Praetorian Guard’s head. That’s how you do a fight scene.
-The visual effects as usual were beautiful and really add to the lure of the Star Wars universe.

Cons:
- Forced humor...again. Yeah I know I know the forced humor isn’t going anywhere, but it was SO bad in this one. There’s no better example of this than the beginning of the movie with the whole “I’m waiting sequence”. Jesus that was so bad, I was actually cringing hard in my seat
- Every CGI creature in this god damn movie. The porgs, those servant creatures on Luke’s planet, the ice dogs, all of it was just fucking terrible. The only purpose of the porgs was so they can be made into a toy for kids. Also the ice dogs leading Poe, Leia and crew to Rey. Cringe.
- Waste of characters with potential. Hey guys remember Snoke and Captain Phasma. Yeah....they were barely in the movie. Phasma was a badass stormtrooper who I just kept waiting....and waiting...and waiting to come into the movie. I think she actually had more screen time in TFA and that’s really saying something since she was barely in it. She gets 3 minutes of screen time at most and dies. Stupid. Snoke was a copy of the emperor, that’s all I have to say about him.
-Casino Planet/Finn and Rose’s storyline. Yeah that entire plot could’ve been taken out of the movie. The planet was corny, the people were corny, and those horse creature things were corny.

When I saw this movie and how high it was rated, the inner fanboy got so excited. Seeing people say it was the best Star Wars since Empire Strikes Back, I went in with extremely high expectations. Maybe this is why I’m hating on it a little too much, but man was I disappointed with the final product. I appreciate Rian Johnson trying something new with the Star Wars franchise, I just don’t think it was executed correctly. If Rey and Kylo Ren teamed together, saything fuck everyone else, that shit would’ve been fucking nuts. Imagine Ren and Rey fighting Luke? Would’ve been sick. I think this is the route they should’ve went with, but Disney would probably never allow it.

For all you people who loved TLJ, please give me your opinion. I really want to hear what got people so invested in this movie, because as a die hard Star Wars fan it just missed for me.
 

Tachanka

Read my bio
I’ve never been so disappointed in my life. Heyo it’s your local Star Wars nerd reviewing yet another Star Wars movie. You guys who have been around a long time know the drill with my Star Wars reviews. Pros and Cons. Too lazy to link my other reviews but I’ll get around to it.

Pros:
- Luke is still awesome. He was by FAR the best character in this movie. Mark Hamill kills it as usual.
- The space kamikaze was fucking awesome. Despite being a character I didn’t give two shits about (still don’t even know her name), the visuals were absolutely stunning. The whole theater was dead silent when it happened. That scene was just so cool.
- No blow up the enemy base ending.
Halle-fucking-lujah, this one speaks for itself.
-The visual effects as usual were beautiful and really add to the lure of the Star Wars universe.

Cons:
- Forced humor...again. Yeah I know I know the forced humor isn’t going anywhere, but it was SO bad in this one. There’s no better example of this than the beginning of the movie with the whole “I’m waiting sequence”. Jesus that was so bad, I was actually cringing hard in my seat
- Every CGI creature in this god damn movie. The porgs, those servant creatures on Luke’s planet, the ice dogs, all of it was just fucking terrible. The only purpose of the porgs was so they can be made into a toy for kids. Also the ice dogs leading Poe, Leia and crew to Rey. Cringe.
- Waste of characters with potential. Hey guys remember Snoke and Captain Phasma. Yeah....they were barely in the movie. Phasma was a badass stormtrooper who I just kept waiting....and waiting...and waiting to come into the movie. I think she actually had more screen time in TFA and that’s really saying something since she was barely in it. She gets 3 minutes of screen time at most and dies. Stupid. Snoke was a copy of the emperor, that’s all I have to say about him.
-Casino Planet/Finn and Rose’s storyline. Yeah that entire plot could’ve been taken out of the movie. The planet was corny, the people were corny, and those horse creature things were corny.

When I saw this movie and how high it was rated, the inner fanboy got so excited. Seeing people say it was the best Star Wars since Empire Strikes Back, I went in with extremely high expectations. Maybe this is why I’m hating on it a little too much, but man was I disappointed with the final product. I appreciate Rian Johnson trying something new with the Star Wars franchise, I just don’t think it was executed correctly. If Rey and Kylo Ren teamed together, saything fuck everyone else, that shit would’ve been fucking nuts. Imagine Ren and Rey fighting Luke? Would’ve been sick. I think this is the route they should’ve went with the movie, but Disney would probably never allow it.

For all you people who loved TLJ, please give me your opinion. I really want to hear what got people so invested in this movie, because as a die hard Star Wars fan it just missed for me.
I have to admit, I hate Disney adding that extra humor. It is trying to appeal too much to younger audiences. Don't get me wrong I hope they enjoy it, but come on... this isn't exactly a "kid" movie
 

Irrelevant (robyn)

Browntown janitorial
Well here goes I enjoyed it but come up empty. Ever since I was a little kid all i had was the original trilogy with no signs of other movies ever gonna come out that being said luke was a badass and I was content. Flash forward 10 or so years they were doing the prequel which sounded great but only had certain things that was good obi wan is badass lol. So getting to my point yes the movie is 30 mins too long some scenes didn't need to be there, snoke is this god like creature yet we don't learn much about him yet he dies pretty lame same with plasma. Watching luke brought back memories but was a kick to the balls that he's gone, just wish we could of seen more of him. Just wondering how ep 9 is gonna end time to start speculating
 

Tachanka

Read my bio
Well here goes I enjoyed it but come up empty. Ever since I was a little kid all i had was the original trilogy with no signs of other movies ever gonna come out that being said luke was a badass and I was content. Flash forward 10 or so years they were doing the prequel which sounded great but only had certain things that was good obi wan is badass lol. So getting to my point yes the movie is 30 mins too long some scenes didn't need to be there, snoke is this god like creature yet we don't learn much about him yet he dies pretty lame same with plasma. Watching luke brought back memories but was a kick to the balls that he's gone, just wish we could of seen more of him. Just wondering how ep 9 is gonna end time to start speculating
I don't think we have seen the last of Luke. He is in that spirit world like Qui Gon, Obi Wan, and Yoda.
 

Irrelevant (robyn)

Browntown janitorial
I don't think we have seen the last of Luke. He is in that spirit world like Qui Gon, Obi Wan, and Yoda.
Yea idk since Disney changes everything hell Yoda looked like he was alive not that force glow. Question is if George Lucas made these movies would they have been better? Who knows it seemed like the prequel he more focused on cgi then anything. It just feels rushed and it could of been so much better, the force awakens and rogue one was a lot better in my opinion. Just makes no sense rey has practically no training or doesnt know what the he'll the force is but she is evenly matched with kylo that has training.
 

Alpha

Not Riot
Honestly, I loved it. The visuals were just beautiful and Adam Driver is just an amazing actor but I can agree that the forced humor was a bit annoying, but what do you expect from Disney? As for Snoke, that was the real disappointment
 
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Tachanka

Read my bio
Yea idk since Disney changes everything hell Yoda looked like he was alive not that force glow. Question is if George Lucas made these movies would they have been better? Who knows it seemed like the prequel he more focused on cgi then anything. It just feels rushed and it could of been so much better, the force awakens and rogue one was a lot better in my opinion. Just makes no sense rey has practically no training or doesnt know what the he'll the force is but she is evenly matched with kylo that has training.
You know that they used a puppet for Yoda right? Not CGI.
 

Hingle The God

God of browntown
Overlord
I’ve never been so disappointed in my life. Heyo it’s your local Star Wars nerd reviewing yet another Star Wars movie. You guys who have been around a long time know the drill with my Star Wars reviews. Pros and Cons.

The Force Awakens Review

Rogue One Review

Pros:
- Luke is still awesome. He was by FAR the best character in this movie. Mark Hamill kills it as usual.
- The space kamikaze was fucking awesome. Despite being a character I didn’t give two shits about (still don’t even know her name), the visuals were absolutely stunning. The whole theater was dead silent when it happened. That scene was just so cool. You can’t get more bad ass than going into hyper speed and kamikazing into the first order fleet.
- No blow up the enemy base ending. Halle-fucking-lujah, this one speaks for itself.
-Rey and Kylo Ren fighting off Snoke’s bodyguards. That entire fight scene was really cool. Rey dropping the lightsaber, undercutting the Praetorian Guard, then throwing the lightsaber to Ren and putting it right through the Praetorian Guard’s head. That’s how you do a fight scene.
-The visual effects as usual were beautiful and really add to the lure of the Star Wars universe.

Cons:
- Forced humor...again. Yeah I know I know the forced humor isn’t going anywhere, but it was SO bad in this one. There’s no better example of this than the beginning of the movie with the whole “I’m waiting sequence”. Jesus that was so bad, I was actually cringing hard in my seat
- Every CGI creature in this god damn movie. The porgs, those servant creatures on Luke’s planet, the ice dogs, all of it was just fucking terrible. The only purpose of the porgs was so they can be made into a toy for kids. Also the ice dogs leading Poe, Leia and crew to Rey. Cringe.
- Waste of characters with potential. Hey guys remember Snoke and Captain Phasma. Yeah....they were barely in the movie. Phasma was a badass stormtrooper who I just kept waiting....and waiting...and waiting to come into the movie. I think she actually had more screen time in TFA and that’s really saying something since she was barely in it. She gets 3 minutes of screen time at most and dies. Stupid. Snoke was a copy of the emperor, that’s all I have to say about him.
-Casino Planet/Finn and Rose’s storyline. Yeah that entire plot could’ve been taken out of the movie. The planet was corny, the people were corny, and those horse creature things were corny.

When I saw this movie and how high it was rated, the inner fanboy got so excited. Seeing people say it was the best Star Wars since Empire Strikes Back, I went in with extremely high expectations. Maybe this is why I’m hating on it a little too much, but man was I disappointed with the final product. I appreciate Rian Johnson trying something new with the Star Wars franchise, I just don’t think it was executed correctly. If Rey and Kylo Ren teamed together, saything fuck everyone else, that shit would’ve been fucking nuts. Imagine Ren and Rey fighting Luke? Would’ve been sick. I think this is the route they should’ve went with, but Disney would probably never allow it.

For all you people who loved TLJ, please give me your opinion. I really want to hear what got people so invested in this movie, because as a die hard Star Wars fan it just missed for me.
Who had the better mind connection?
Rey and Kylo
or
Harry and Voldemort
 

Hingle The God

God of browntown
Overlord
One thing that bothered me was the lack of story. There basically wasn't anything, they tried to add so much that there was none.

The casino scene where they were talking about slavery and using children, 15 seconds and that was it. no more in depth talk and it never comes up again.

The scene where its mentioned that kylo killed the younglings ala anakin, they just said it in passing. Oh yeah kylo took some of the kids and killed the rest. like motherfuckers tell the non casual fans that those people he took became the knights of ren. Tell us that the knights of ren are a thing, SHOW US THE KNIGHTS OF REN.

The rose bitch basically killed the rebels single handedly because she wanted the dick. If luke didnt show up to buy time for the rebels to use their plot armor to get out of the base they were all going to be murdered.
How did finn live again? they crashed infront of the walkers and cannon and then .....?
Luke was a ghost but we didnt know that at the time, "how did he get in? oh there must be a way in from the other side!" but this is ignored once we find out luke isnt really there because hes a projection/spirit/bullshit.
So luke had to do physical training and get guidance by yoda to lift an xwing out of a swamp but rey can lift half a mountain of rocks because she swung a lightsaber around in an island?
everytime she fucked with the islanders i just kept thinking of the cabbage guy from avatar the last airbender.

So who is snoke again? Where did he come from? Why and how were they able to make him worse then the villain of the justice league?

WTF WAS WITH ALL THE JOKES?
snoke died! then they cut to a joke and all the tension dies and youre just like oh they killed snoke, he really wasnt a thing.
Captain phasma was a joke.
Chewbacca really didnt need to be in the movie, why was he there? what did he do? was he there just to promote the new bird thing with him? why was this a giant commercial for new merchandise.
I would keep going but this movie really doesnt have anything to bring to the universe of star wars, it was basically guardians of the galaxy 2 with star wars characters in it.
 

rkelly828

The people's choice
Legendary
The scene where its mentioned that kylo killed the younglings ala anakin, they just said it in passing. Oh yeah kylo took some of the kids and killed the rest. like motherfuckers tell the non casual fans that those people he took became the knights of ren. Tell us that the knights of ren are a thing, SHOW US THE KNIGHTS OF REN.
100 fucking percent. This really bothered me, completely forgot to mention it. We just keep waiting to see the Knights of Ren if at all. Seriously this was the perfect chance to do so. What the fuck.

So who is snoke again? Where did he come from? Why and how were they able to make him worse then the villain of the justice league?
And this especially. TFA built up Snoke, we wanted to see more about him. In TLJ, we actually get to see him. His face is all fucked up, my first reaction was how did that happen? It seemed like there was a really interesting story behind that. BUT NOPE, give him five minutes of screen time at most and dead. All those fan theories gone to waste, just so he can be used as a plot device to propel Kylo Ren to supreme leader of the first order. Fucking dumb.

They basically did the same thing for Rey's parents. The Force Awakens builds up this mystery. Who are Rey's parents, they must have a big part in the story! We even see the flash back scene of their ship flying away as Rey crys out to them. Once again, fan theories were thrown out the window just to say oh your parents are nothing. There is no continuity. One movie builds up these story lines and gives them meaning just for the next movie to shit on it.
 

Deck

New member
100 fucking percent. This really bothered me, completely forgot to mention it. We just keep waiting to see the Knights of Ren if at all. Seriously this was the perfect chance to do so. What the fuck.


And this especially. TFA built up Snoke, we wanted to see more about him. In TLJ, we actually get to see him. His face is all fucked up, my first reaction was how did that happen? It seemed like there was a really interesting story behind that. BUT NOPE, give him five minutes of screen time at most and dead. All those fan theories gone to waste, just so he can be used as a plot device to propel Kylo Ren to supreme leader of the first order. Fucking dumb.

They basically did the same thing for Rey's parents. The Force Awakens builds up this mystery. Who are Rey's parents, they must have a big part in the story! We even see the flash back scene of their ship flying away as Rey crys out to them. Once again, fan theories were thrown out the window just to say oh your parents are nothing. There is no continuity. One movie builds up these story lines and gives them meaning just for the next movie to shit on it.
Isn’t it possible he was lieing about her parents? To get her to join him?
 

Deck

New member
- bad jokes in beginning, with that commander guy being mentally retarded.
- having that random admiral bitch sacrifice herself when you couldve easily made that admiral akbar GIVE HIM THE DEATH HE DESERVES, I blame feminism or some shit.
 

Hingle The God

God of browntown
Overlord
The commander was a weasley.
The way the handled the admiral lady was so bad and only served to surprise us for the second act/ give us a reason to make finn fit into this story.
What did he do in the beginning?
then in act 2, he was only relevant because he had to go to the casino and look for a hacker in hopes of getting rid of the tracker.
But then again his story could be eliminated if the lady took the stick out her ass and just told poe "oh theres a remote base in that moon that every radar we have ever looked at ignores and pretends is not there, but if you look out the window its right there".
I mean shes a woman and she cant fucking open her mouth to talk about what she wants to do?
 

Irrelevant (robyn)

Browntown janitorial
I might have to watch the movie again but the more I think about it it's pretty much shit, basically Swiss cheese could of been so much better but full of holes
 

rkelly828

The people's choice
Legendary
I might have to watch the movie again but the more I think about it it's pretty much shit, basically Swiss cheese could of been so much better but full of holes
I’m not watching it again. Sooooooo many people have said “OH WATCH IT TWICE THE SECOND TIME IS SO MUCH BETTER OMG”. The problem is, all the Cons I listed will still be there after I’m done watching again. Snoke and Phasma will still be pointless. Corny jokes will be completely out of place. It’s just not a movie I will watch again.
 

SpytheMedic

I am the universe, Jon
Elite
Donator
The titular theme of Luke being the Last Jedi left me a bit confused. He sees Rey and her potential and shuts her down because he has seen it before. He says no, fights Rey after being confronted about how Ren fell, then tells her to leave. Then for one glorified sorry (although I enjoyed the interaction between Luke and Ren), he "sacrifices" himself to save the Resistance, with Hope™ that Rey will be a Jedi. I thought Luke was going to redefine what it meant to be a Jedi. Not someone who practiced the Light and act as if the Dark did not exist, but to train to use the Light and Dark, in a "truer" balance. Instead, he left the fate of someone who arguably had less training than he got on Dagobah (although she will undoubtedly be able to do it because of how her character is written).

I thought Finn's not-death was the most disappointing thing that happened while I was in the theater. Once he closed his eyes, I was sooo ready for him to die and the cannon to explode, but then BAM! He is uselessly saved by surprise plot armor.

The quips in movies are just "meh" for me. They make me chuckle, but them I forget about them. And they've been on the rise in general. (I first found them too much in Captain America: Civil War.)
 
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